Some more McSweeney's, school, signing day, and another Blazer loss

Really, if yesterday's link to McSweeney's wasn't enough to get you checking that site everyday then I don't believe you enjoy reading or laughing. Here's a snippet from today. Think of it as another attempt to get you hooked.

THE AMERICANS
WHO VOTED FOR
GEORGE W. BUSH
WISH TO RETURN
THEIR TELEVISION.
BY WAYNE GLADSTONE

- - - -

AMERICA: Yeah, hi. I bought this TV here about two years ago and I'd like to return it.

BEST BUY CLERK: Oh, yeah. I remember you. You loved this TV. What happened? Is it broken?

AMERICA: Broken? Well, I'm not sure. It's just that ... hmm. How do I explain?

BEST BUY CLERK: Well, what's the problem?

AMERICA: Well, I've heard there are other TVs? Like a smart TV that knows when your shows are on and can record them for you? One that can be programmed with parental controls and specifications.

BEST BUY CLERK: Yeah, sure, but you said you didn't want a smart TV. I remember. I tried to sell you that. But you said it was "haughty." That it gave you too much information—like it couldn't make up its mind. You wanted a "simple" TV that you could relate to.

AMERICA: Yeah, I know ... but this TV. I mean, sometimes I'll put it on a channel and it just stays there. No matter what. No matter how bad the channel is or how much I want something different. I even changed the batteries in the remote control and banged on the side of the set, but nothing works. It's like it's ignoring me.

BEST BUY CLERK: And that's a problem?

AMERICA: Well, yeah.

Funny, huh?

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I have my first real paper of grad school due today, and of course I haven't started yet. That means I'll be working like crazy when I get home at one so that I can have it done by the time I go to class at four. Shouldn't I be working on that now instead of this post? Umm, good question.

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Today is signing day for college football, and hopefully the Ducks pull in some good guys. Not that it seems to matter, since we have a set pattern: underachieve, overachieve (but just enough to give hope for the next year), underachieve, overachieve, etc.

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Last night's Blazer game was ridiculous. I wasn't watching, but I did follow the gamecast at the beginning and then again at the end. Even though Nash wasn't playing, the fact that the Blazers could come back against the Suns is a good sign. And even if Nash had been playing, the fact that we continue to come out flat and get way behind early drives me crazy. How many times do I have to say "young" and "inconsistent" here? More than I already have, really? What if I just say it a whole bunch of times now, will that make the need go away? Worth a try, I suppose: young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent young and inconsistent

There you go guys, now stop losing close games and coming out with no effort.