Maybe I could get this job

This whole article is great, but this section was my favorite. Maybe if we can't get the current Squatch, I could take the job and just run around up there shirtless. That'd be fantastic.

When it comes to the delicate art of slam dunking a basketball while being propelled by a trampoline, few do it better than Squatch. His skills are vast and his mascot abilities are graceful and energetic, yet still tactful and refined. He's everything Blaze is not. Plus he bears a strange resemblance to Teen Wolf, another mythical creature who is capable of grand performances on the basketball court. And if "Stiles" (or Channing Frye) wants him to surf atop a moving van, he'd totally do it.

While I'm no historian of mythological woodland creatures, I do believe with much conviction that the real Sasquatch is far more likely to lay claim to the plush Oregonian woods than he is the condos of Seattle's U-District, or, God forbid, the dusty wastelands of Oklahoma City. Just think what that dry air will do to Squatch's majestic mane of hair.

He belongs here.

From Ezra Ace Caraeff's article in the Portland Mercury, via TrueHoop.