My favorite fairy tale

Dave over at Blazer's Edge may have outdone himself. He wrote a fairy tale with an allegorical plot and Blazer players as characters. It's fantastic, and it's broken down into two parts.

Part one.

Part two.

Seriously, even if you don't like the Blazers you should read it.

Hilarious stuff from BDL, as usual

When I started listening to the Basketball Jones last summer I became a big fan of Tas and Skeets both. So I was really glad when Skeets jumped on board at Yahoo!. Here are some quotes from a live blog this morning. I know he says they were cut, which means they were from readers, but his choices are still great. And really funny. Really really funny.

• 92-69? That's it? What is that, eight, nine points? We should be beating teams like Greece by 80 or 90 points. We should be winning games 150-6! And those six points should only happen because we're shooting on our own net in the first half to get used to the rims.

• Redeem Team? Ha. Try Pipe Dream Team! Why isn't this team winning games by more points? Did you see what the score was after 1 second — 0-0. Zero points! We were tied with Greece after one second of play. That won't cut it versus the Spaniards!

• What a bunch of showboats. This team makes me sick. You should never dunk the ball if you're beating your opponent. Never! In fact, as soon the USA takes a lead we should be subbing out a guy and play short-handed. Coach K has no idea what he's doing out there.

• (Following a 14-foot USA jump shot): Is this is a joke? We're supposed to be the GREATEST TEAM IN THE WORLD and we can't dunk the ball from 14 feet? Pathetic. Brent Barry would have dunked that. Where is Brent Barry? Why will no one answer me?

• John Stockton's feathery hair could win gold by itself!!! Fact!!

• Did you see that Bryant alley-oop? BOR-ING!!! Kobe shold have grabbed it, wrapped it around his back, went through his legs, cleaned the backboard, snatched that rogue red balloon for the little Chinese girl, kissed a helicopter, smiled a little more, and then dunked it.

• WHY ARE WE PLAYING WITH SHOES ON!? WHERE ARE OUR CROCS!?!?

• Greece cut it to 16 during the second half and trailed by just 20 at the end of three quarters. If that doesn't tell you something about the fragile psyche of this USA Team then I don't know. We're doomed.

Just fantastic stuff.

I'm glad it went well

I can't wait to see this smiling face back on the floor, and hearing that the recovery should take 4-6 weeks was welcome news a few minutes ago when I read it.

I still want next summer to go by with no knee surgeries. That'd be great.

I hate late summer knee surgery

hate

Pick and Roll? Yes, please.

This whole thing is okay, but the part that I posted it for starts around the 48 second mark. Greg Oden and Steve Blake do a pick and roll there that is beautiful. I laughed out loud with glee the first three times I watched it. In a row. There are several more videos where this came from at Casey's Center Court blog.

My first draft

I have four (maybe five, if they ask again) fantasy football teams this year. Here are the results from my first draft. I picked seventh out of ten. Click on the picture to see it bigger, if you actually want to see it.

This is even cooler

This is a link to an even sweeter version of that 4x100 freestyle. I love watching this race.

This image is beautiful

I was just looking at the (still hidden/beta) trade machine – trying to find a way to trade Josh Smith to the Grizzlies for J-Lew's sake – and noticed what the Blazers roster looks like now. Seriously, look at how many guys have one year left on their contracts, and how much cap space that will be, and how many foreign players we have as additional assets, and how GOOD our players are.

(sigh)

I can't wait for this season.

One of the best things I've ever seen

This was just too amazing. I am now a huge Jason Lezak fan.

Oh yeah, I'm happy that Phelps gets to continue his pursuit of eight.

I love headbands

I remember the turn of the millennium Blazers fondly, even though they didn't fulfill their destiny. One of the things that endeared them to me was the headband revolution, including the song they did.

Anyway, the Blowtorch has a great tribute post to that team today, and it gives a guide on wearing headbands. Well worth the read. (via TrueHoop, again)

Maybe I could get this job

This whole article is great, but this section was my favorite. Maybe if we can't get the current Squatch, I could take the job and just run around up there shirtless. That'd be fantastic.

When it comes to the delicate art of slam dunking a basketball while being propelled by a trampoline, few do it better than Squatch. His skills are vast and his mascot abilities are graceful and energetic, yet still tactful and refined. He's everything Blaze is not. Plus he bears a strange resemblance to Teen Wolf, another mythical creature who is capable of grand performances on the basketball court. And if "Stiles" (or Channing Frye) wants him to surf atop a moving van, he'd totally do it.

While I'm no historian of mythological woodland creatures, I do believe with much conviction that the real Sasquatch is far more likely to lay claim to the plush Oregonian woods than he is the condos of Seattle's U-District, or, God forbid, the dusty wastelands of Oklahoma City. Just think what that dry air will do to Squatch's majestic mane of hair.

He belongs here.

From Ezra Ace Caraeff's article in the Portland Mercury, via TrueHoop.

More video of Greg Oden

The Oregonian does great stuff. Really great stuff, actually, about the Blazers. Here is the latest video installment on Greg Oden's rehab. (My favorite Blazer, Channing Frye, is also in this video. I love that guy.)