A ridiculous comparison

I just read this quote in Mike Barrett's blog. This is the sort of thing that I really love about Brandon Roy.

This weekend the players will start arriving back into town. Greg Oden is expected to get here Sunday, Brandon Roy is already back, and I believe LaMarcus Aldridge is as well. It was Roy who made the request that the team get back into town over a month early, so they could start preparing. It's not likely the entire team will show as early as next week, but it'll be interesting to see who is able to make it. Steve Blake, James Jones, and several others have been here for several weeks.

Reading stuff like that keeps the stupid image in my head of Roy as a player more like Jordan than a lot of others I could name. He worked the entire off season to improve the weakest part of his game, which also improved throughout his injury riddled rookie season. He might have been the guy to push for Zach's trade, not because he didn't like Zach, but because he knew that the team would develop into a better team without him. He took over games during crunch time, which didn't always just mean shooting: he drove, made big shots, and found open teammates for game winners. If his defense continues to improve, and if his outside shooting improves functionally with how much time he's put into it, then my stupid brain will continue to make the connections between him and Jordan. I know he's not the same type of scorer, but so many of the other things about them are similar. And I'm not saying he's "the next" Jordan, just that his intensity and leadership and desire remind me of MJ more than most.

NFL Season Preview, via Arrested Development (Part 1)

It's been a long time since I wrote about a sports topic that wasn't related in some way to the Blazers. So I'm ripping off a gimmick that the Sports Guy uses and doing an NFL season preview. Instead of just writing a normal preview, though, I'll be using characters, episodes, and quotes from Season one of Arrested Development to set up my lame jokes and comments. To do that will take three parts, which means this first part is the only one that'll happen.

Quotes:

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Gob: So what? Lindsay's been staying at the Four Seasons for like a month, and she's probably charging it to the company!
Michael: Lindsay's been in town for a month?
Gob: ...I don't think so.

This goes to the Oakland raiders and Jamarcus Russel. I mean, the draft was in April. He was the first overall pick. I'm trying to imagine how the conversations have been between Russell and his agent, and between the agent and the Raiders.

Agent: When Brady Quinn signed last week he got more money than we thought he would, so we've...
JR: Brady Quinn signed last week?
Agent: ...I don't think so.

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Raiders Exec: Well, he should sign soon. I mean, even though he's a veteran, it took Daunte Cullpepper a little while to figure out our offense when he showed up a few months ago...
Agent: You signed Daunte Cullpepper a few months ago?
RE: ...I don't think so.

Gob: You know, I sort of thought my contribution could be a magic show.
Michael: Oh, that's perfect, Gob.
Gob: Thank you.
Michael: Or, wait a minute. I just remembered something — Dad's retiring, not turning six.

This goes to Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers. Who didn't like Favre in the '90s? I mean, besides fans of all the other teams in the NFC north? But now it's just sad. Like a grown man having a magic show at his retirement. Speaking of, maybe Gob could convince Favre that his it would be wroth retiring just to see the illusions performed at his retirement party.

George Sr.: I don't have time for your magic tricks.
Gob: Illusions, Dad! You don't have time for my illusions!

This goes to Matt Millen and the Lions. How does he still have a job in Detroit? It's the illusion. Or maybe he's turning tricks. Doing tricks, I meant doing magic tricks.

Michael: Okay, guys, um... they are going to keep Dad in prison at least until this gets all sorted out. Also, the attorney said that they’re going to have to put a halt on the company’s expense account.
[All gasping.]
Michael: Interesting. I would’ve expected that after “They’re keeping Dad in jail.”

This goes to the Falcons. I really wouldn't have expected Vick's teammates to be so quick to embrace Joey Harrington as The Man in Atlanta. Wow, they haven't exactly thrown Vick under the bus, but there hasn't really been much support for him.

Lindsay: You’ve had $80,000 worth of cartography lessons. Get us a channel to the ocean.
Buster: Okay, okay, okay.
(Pauses)
Buster: Obviously this blue part here is the land

This goes to Eli Manning. Let's see:

1. Great bloodline? Check.


2. Successful college career? Check.


3. Cocky attitude that kept him from staying in San Diego? Check.


4. Numerous weapons on offense? Check.

Maybe it's too much to ask him not to buckle under pressure. Or maybe he should be able to tell that the blue part is water, not land.

Lucille: I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.

I don't think I even need to explain why this one goes to Matt Leinart.

Michael: Hey mom, I was wondering if you knew anything about these....
Lucille: [interrupting] I don't know where they are.
Michael: ...flight records. You know, it's really more believable if you let me finish first.

The first one I'm awarding to Michael Vick.

George Sr.: ...this is my vacation, Michael.
Michael: You're doing time, dad.
George Sr.: I'm doing the time... of my life!

This goes to Pacman Jones. It's too bad the NFL won't let him wrestle. They probably won't let him follow the example set by Joey Galloway in 1999 of playing flag football. We could see Pacman competing in all sorts of reality show events. It really could be the time of his life.

Narrator: Tobias had gotten the directing job by meeting with the school principal.
Tobias: ... and you tell me you've got some P.E. teacher directing? That just makes me want to puke all over your head, sir! [gets on one knee] Give me a chance to tell the bard's tale and I give you my word on humble knee whence you shall not say it wasn't e'r to be.
Principal: ... Jerry, you cool with this?
Jerry/P.E. Teacher: Sure, let the little fruit do it.
Tobias: Huzzah!

This one goes to any team that's just trying to fill holes.

Buster: It's like she gets off by being withholding.
Gob: Look who's got something to say.
Buster: I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I can feel good about myself. 'Cause I'm an uptight -- [Incredibly extended BLEEP] -- Buster! -- [Extended BLEEP] -- You old horny slut!
Michael: [pause] Well, no one's gonna top that.

This one goes to the New York Giants and whichever of their players goes crazy this season about how controlling Tom Coughlin is and how much everyone hates him. I'm guessing around week five, depending on if Strahan comes back.

Michael: Listen, after we get that lot cleared, we're going to have enough money for you to neuter thousands of animals. You can make dogs and cats a complete thing of the past. No more dogs and cats.

This one goes to Vick too.

Kitty: Your wife's on line one.
Narrator: Michael's wife had been dead for two years.
Michael: My what?
Narrator: Kitty realized her mistake.
Kitty: I said, "your wife is on line one."
Narrator: But not immediately.

This goes to the Cheifs. Three weeks into the season, after signing Larry Johnson to a huge deal ending his holdout, the Cheifs are going to really wish Priest Holmes' comeback had worked out better when Johnson's knees explode. Running backs can only handle so many carries per year, and I think LJ has fit 8 seasons worth of carries into two and a half seasons.

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

This goes to the Oakland Raiders offense. No matter what you do or how you look at it, this offense is really ugly.

Lindsay: It's all I've ever wanted from you, Daddy - for you to spend money on me.

This goes to Tom Brady. The Patriots finally spent money this off season to help him out, and I think he's going to show his gratitude by playing even better this season than he has so far in his career.

Lucille: It's an idiot on a scooter at night. It's got to be Gob.

To LaVar Arrington. I thought that after Kellen Winslow and Ben Roethlesberger crashed their motorcycles NFL players would be more careful. I thought wrong.

Lindsay: Oh you'll never be able to do it. You're too good. You're the noble one.
Michael: Thank you.
Lindsay: The one who never wins.
Michael: I don't know about that.
Lindsay: The loser. The fool.

I'm going to go ahead and give this to the Bears. They've been pretty good the last few years. They're supposed to be good again this year. And yet, I just don't think they'll be able to even match last year's success.

Michael: Your Uncle Gob seems to think that he saw you down at the docks today. Was that you?
George Michael: No. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter.
Michael: Yeah, that makes sense.

This one goes to Adrian Peterson, the rookie for Minnesota. When Cedric Benson gets hurt a week and a half into the season, the other Adrian Peterson will take over the running back chores in Chicago, and he'll end up having more touchdowns than his Viking-rookie counterpart.

Reporter: Where's Earl Milford?
Gob: I-I don't know. I put him in a box. I didn't kill him, alright? And don't edit this for your broadcast so it looks like I'm screaming, "I killed Earl Milford!"
[Cut to Fox6 News]
John Beard: Startling confession tonight at 11:00.

This goes to the Cincinnati Bengals. At this point, even when players don't do anything wrong they get a bad rap. Then again, they did bring it upon themselves.

Lindsay: I'll tell you what. I'll take you down to see Nana if you split the money with me 60-40.
Maeby: 55-55.
Lindsay: Deal.
Michael: Sounds like you guys are getting more than you think.
Lindsay: We should go now before your Dad gets back. No need going halfsies with him, too.

This goes to the Houston Texans. I don't know how much they think Matt Schaub is worth, but my guess is that he's not worth as much as they think. Honorable mention on this goes to the Raiders for every QB they have, the Dolphins for Trent Green, and the Buccaneers for Garcia and the still-retired Jake Plummer.

Gob: And now you love the ten commandments. And yet you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it be-ith me, thy sweet Lord."
Michael: I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.

This goes to everyone who's making up things about how good some bad team will be this year. I guess it's mainly for anyone suggesting that the Cardinals will be good. You're just faking it if you say that.

Tobias: Well, I've always wanted to remake Annie Hall. Except, I wouldn't want to get in bed with a green producer like a Sofia Coppola, though. Oh, but give me an old pro like a Robert Redford. Oh, I'd jump into bed with him in a second. And I wouldn't just lie there, Michael Bluth, if that's what you're thinking.
Michael: Actually, that time, that was what I was thinking.

This goes to the New England Patriots, who just signed "an old pro" to go with Tom Brady. Why would any team need Vinny Testaverde at this point?

Michael: Lindsay, new outfit?
Lindsay: This? No, I've had this for years. I think it's a hand-me-down from Mom.
Michael: You got a price tag. Right there.
Lindsay: Is there? I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.
Michael: Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me.

This goes to the Cleveland Browns, who acquired Jamal Lewis during the off season. I mean, how is that old thing going to help they're running game when he couldn't even run behind a better than average line in Baltimore?

That's everything I have for now. I hope to do the other parts, but we'll see.

Here's another one

Alright, this was on there too. Number six is my favorite, but the one in which he posterizes Rasheed Wallace is pretty unbelievable too. And number one is definitely incredible.

Try this if the video doesn't load.

Not what I expected

I was looking on Peekvid for something to do while I'm not doing anything in my hotel room, and I came across what appeared to be Michael Jordan's "ten greatest plays." It appeared to be that because it was titled as such. It turned out, instead, to be ten great plays against the Blazers. Yeah, fantastic. But it's still pretty amazing, and this goes out to my friend Ek. If the video doesn't load on the page then click on the link below or in the title.Try this if that didn't work.

Old-school Bill Walton at home

I saw this video just a few seconds ago. It's fun to see a young Walton, and I think the similarities between Oden's soft-spoken-ness and Walton's are great. Then again, I'm a little scared to hear about Walton's foot problems, since Roy and Aldridge have both already had their own foot problems. Just coincidence, but still a little scary.

Nice timing

I just cashed my reimbursement check from Compton for the U-Haul. I feel kind of bad about that, since my parents actually paid for the truck and auto transport, but my dad told me that was what I should do. And since I have less than $20 in my bank account right now, the $1000+ reimbursement came when I needed it really badly. Now I just get to look forward to kicking part of my paycheck to my parents for the first couple months of employment. Knowing that I have a little bit of money now allowed me to escape to the beach again. I'm sitting in a little coffee shop called Java Man in Hermosa Beach, and I'm going to walk down to the ocean pretty soon. I just updated my facebook profile for the first time in a while, and all the quotes I chose are from a packet my friend Luke put together for his high school students called A Few Things to Keep You Entertained.... Most of the quotes are not only good, but also timely for me as I'm getting ready to head into the classroom soon.

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Since this is already pretty newsy, I might as well just include a general update on what's going on for me right now. I found a townhouse in Long Beach that I really like, and that I think Stephen and Eric will both like too. I got a letter today from Compton as proof of the salary I'll be making so I can apply to rent this place. I need to find my social security card too, but I'm fairly certain I know where it is, even if that means going to my storage unit tomorrow morning. I've looked at some other places too, and need to try to go by to see them or call tomorrow. But after looking at what else is out there, this place seems like the tops to me. It doesn't have appliances, so I'd have to go in for that, but there are cheap ones all over craigslist. That leaves me with getting a California driver's license and registering my car here as two of the most pressing things I have left, and I don't plan on doing either of those before I have an actual address. I still need to get in touch with a few of the doctors who have bills I need to pay, but I did set something up with the ambulance company yesterday. I've also worked on a parent letter/syllabus and self-introductory flyer for my students. To top it all off, I actually went for a bit of a run today. So that's it. This post has been pretty lame, but I wanted to make myself feel better about what I've accomplished down here, and that did it.

Mike Bacsik

He threw the pitch. The at-bat was actually pretty good for the pitcher, going up 2-2, throwing a ball after that, Bonds hitting one foul to keep the count full, and then going after him as Barry lifted it to the deepest part of AT&T Park. I just happened to be watching when Barry Bonds broke the record. It was pretty incredible. I think I actually heard the city of of San Francisco cheering through my window, not over the TV. It was way cooler to watch than I would have expected.

Once again it just goes to show: I'm an idiot

One would think that being in a licensure program would insure my ability to do everything needed to get my teaching license in a timely manner. But one might be forgetting that I'm a moron. It turns out that I didn't submit some paperwork--and money--that I was supposed to send in order for my license to be processed. Yup, nice job on that one. I'm on my way to do that now, and it should end up alright. The turnaround time is two weeks. But still, I am ridiculously unorganized.

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Some happier things are right here: Kevin Garnett likes to wear Blazers stuff. The money quote, from Mark Madsen's blog:

Kevin told us how he had gotten up that morning and tried on the Portland shoes and that they had looked good. So he asked his wife “What do you think? Can I wear these in to practice?”

“Well Kevin, I don’t think so. I mean, the Trailblazers are in your conference and you play against them, right?....” she said.

Kevin decided to wear the shoes in anyway...

I really enjoyed reading that post, and it's a nice tribute from one of KG's teammates.

People might have seen this on TrueHoop, but I had to link to it anyway. The guy who started ProTrade and was part of a group of MIT students who won a lot of money in Vegas, Jeffrey Ma, is a consultant for the Blazers and had this to say about how the Spurs built a champion (three times over) and apparently how the Blazers are trying to do the same thing.

I remember sitting with Kevin Pritchard before he was KP, the GM of the Trail Blazers, and he explained the Spurs' mantra to me: Get three superstars and then fill the roster with guys willing to go through a wall to win.

This is actually just one more reason I wish we could retain Ime Udoka. I think he's one of the guys that will go through a wall to win.

My first experience in a music video

This clip is from the video shoot that I made Jacob, Collin, and Danny go to with me. Jacob is the second face you see walk in, and Collin is after the couple that come in next. I don't know if Danny or I make it in the full version at some point, but it's pretty cool to see my friends there.

Check out this video: Excerpt from Bright and Dirty Lights



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