how the time does fly

i know i promised some massive posting from oregon. i also know that i have yet to come through on this promise. i have no defense for this, i can only say that i will do my best to get something up in the next few days that is actually worth reading. my sincerest apologies, specifically to myself, whom i have let down a great deal.

no need to countdown

here i am. roseburg in zero days (or to put it better, roseburg for fourteen or so days, no that i'm not counting down until i arrive, rather taking stock of the time i have here)

the days are just packed

i stole the title from a calvin and hobbes collection from 1994. i'm stealing this title because it serves as good reasoning for my inability to post yesterday, which i had wanted to do every day until i left for LA, which happens to be today. so for yesterday, let me say this:

roseburg in two days.

now that i've taken care of that, i can move on. i think i realized last night that i'm going to miss the guys here in phoenix a bit when i'm in roseburg. maybe i won't miss them a ton, since i'll be occupied pretty well by everything there, but i will still miss them a little, and i think that's good. there's not much else to say. i'm taking off for costa mesa in a few hours, and after chilling there for a little while i'll be heading north to biola for the night. then tomorrow is the long trek to roseburg. and the final countdown:

roseburg in one day.

second and third grade tomorrow, and then i'm done until 2005

pretty crappy title, i know. honestly, you don't have to tell me. today i was finally at a high school. well, it was junior high too, but it was so nice to have high schoolers. tomorrow i will be terrorized by second and third graders all day, but then i will be done, which is awesome. my posts have been really fluffy since i started working a job that i kind of like, and that is disappointing to me. maybe there's really something to the "starving artist" thing: when i was working at quizno's i wrote stuff that was a lot better, and i wrote more. i also read a lot more. bah. at least i have almost finished the hauerwas reader, just one essay to go. enough of the random ramblings, i'm leaving soon for choir practice and a cookie feed.

three days until roseburg.

the countdown continues

i subbed at a school today where they expect substitutes to never come back. it was great. (take that however you want) this afternoon i got called because i was requested as a sub for a school. let that sink in. i have finally arrived. tomorrow i'll be subbing for music for junior high and high school kids. could life get much better? only if i were heading to roseburg soon...oh wait, i am.

four days until roseburg.

P.E. again...and counting

i was a p.e. teacher again today. i think that subbing for p.e. is one of my favorites. i mean, smiling is my favorite, but subbing for p.e. is up there. hopefully i get some more good (and easy) work this week, and then i'll take off for LA on friday, followed by the long-haul trip to roseburg on saturday. i am excited to go back.

roseburg in five days.

just keeping the countdown going

six days until roseburg. get excited.

the GRE

i finished taking the GRE a short while ago. i was able to get my score on two of the three sections as soon as i finished. i did alright, but i still wish i would have done better on the verbal section. my score was high enough to get me into fuller's phd program (which i'm not applying for, just their ma) so hopefully it's high enough to get me into duke's mts program. i have to wait on the analytical writing section--which i didn't realize was going to be there, thanks to my old test-prep book and laziness. i think i did alright on the two essays anyway, probably in large part because i have continued to write since i got done with school, mainly on this very blog. that's all i've got for now, i just thought it was worth posting.

seven days until roseburg.

an addendum to the following poem/song

i wrote this the other night. i apologize if you are offended by my two uses of profanity. i do not apologize for using them, just for the offense that they may cause you. i think that's all.

roseburg in eight days.

In the wake of discouraging news about a friend, sadness gives way to hope.

How could I ever think that anything was pretty when you’re gone?
But you’re not gone, yet.
How could I ever laugh, or be happy to hear my favorite song,
After you’re gone? Yet…

Life keeps moving not only on the street but here for me,
And soon you’re gone.
I don’t know how to go on, but all I do is just go on.

When people die it’s ‘cause they’re old or sick or even murdered too.
But that’s not you, yet.
I know you’re sick but somehow it still seems like this just can’t be true:
That it’s not you. Yet…

Life keeps moving not only on the street but here for me,
And soon you’re gone.
I don’t know how to go on, but all I do is just go on.

(You know the saying “shit happens”? Well this is what I think:
God can even make this shit smell nice but right now all I know is that it still stinks.)

I’m sure all things work for the good, but where’s the good working for us?
We have to trust
That God can take all of this pain and evil, suffering and death
And make it beautiful again.

How could I ever sing of beauty when you’ve suffered long and hard,
And all for us?
Your pains much greater than the worst we face that even leave us scars,
And all for you.

Life moves again but in a way that couldn’t possibly be known
Until you came. (Until you left.)
Bring peace and hope and joy and grace to make it through (not on our own)
All of this pain. (This pain of death.)

on the way to posting my usual drivel, life happened

when i say life, i mean post-fall-life. it seems that a very good friend of mine, karen, has become very sick. she first got sick a while ago, then seemed to get better for a while. then she got sick again right before i came home for spring break. now it's hitting her harder than ever, and i'm not there to visit. that is hard. pain is so real, and it always makes me want to take stock and be grateful and all of those other cliches. but joy is real too. and that's harder to see. anyway, i'm going to make a phone call now. i know this hasn't been much, but it's been something. pray for karen and her family and her church and me and you and the world. i think that covers it.

back in phoenix, for the interim

i just got back from chicago last night. that after being gone the week before in costa mesa. so it's nice to be back in phoenix, but i'm excited to be heading to roseburg in less than two weeks. i don't have a lot to say, since my mind is going pretty quickly, i want to read some salinger stories luke emailed to me, and i'm a little sick. but i want to write more of my story, and talk about the last few weeks. so i'll do that sometime soon. it might not really happen until i'm in roseburg, but it will happen. to all of you who have been checking to see if i've updated: i appreciate your commitment to me. i share that commitment to you, i've just been travelling. we were on a break. now we're together again. i hope that our time apart has drawn us closer together.

on my way out

i just wanted to make a quick update from wheaton. i take off tomorrow to go back to arizona. it's been pretty good, but i'll give a better update on things once i get home...i mean, back to arizona. so ashley, here is the update you requested...it's lame, but it's all you get.